Through A Dark Valley

What do you do when
someone you know
dies by their own
hand? 
Another friend took her own life this week.  It happened just over 2 years ago as well. I know she has had some very difficult times in her life. I don’t know specifics; she did not share with me.  It seems she held things pretty close, including her feelings of desperation. 

I wonder how I have survived through my darkest times, when others have chosen to not survive…have felt they could not.  How do those of us around them, around me perceive them and their struggle?  I knew she had lost a job and had to move on top of that.  That would be stressful for anyone.  I might find myself in the same situation since I lost my job a little less than 2 weeks ago.  I contacted her, offering to take her to the county job center with me.  I ended up going by myself.  I left messages, hoping she knew I was open to meet and work together on job search and to just talk or watch a movie or anything.  I know I don’t do well when I have too much time on my hands. Even I, as an introvert, get lonely when I am not around people much.  Having worked retail for almost 2 and half years had me not wanting to be around people outside of work much at all.

I understand depression…I am depressed.  I wonder if people who have never been depressed even have a clue. I know there are people who genuinely care and are compassionate and want to support me and others in this dark place.  I wonder if they even want to know what it is like.  Sometimes, not often, I have heard people quote some scripture, which has truth in it…but it is not done in a helpful way.  Choosing to seek God and to be in scripture is key to battling the thoughts that come.  Reading a Psalm a day can help. Quoting it at a person can come across as trite and legalistic when it is not done at the prompting of the Holy Spirit and in context of caring, listening and Spirit-led prayer. 

I wonder how God understands depression. 
 I think Jesus understood the dark separateness of the cross when He became sin for us.  But long drawn out depression…I don’t know where I would find that.  He became like us…for us.  I have to do some research, ask some questions.  I am sure there are many Christians who suffer who would really like to know the answer.  I know I would. Perhaps my friend would have had a little more strength, been able to draw it from Jesus for another breath, for another day.  I know there is an answer…so I am asking God right now. 

 Jesus, when did You suffer like this? When did you experience depression?  Did You ever want to go home before Your time?  Show me what I need to know and what I need to write to help me, to help Your Children who drop into the shadows. We need You…we need You now.