“Why
are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put Your
hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul
is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of
the Jordan, the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to
deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have
swept over me. By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is
with me-”
Psalm 42:5 – 8a
The
phrase...deep calls to deep...has always resonated with me. It
speaks of God speaking His deep unfathomable word into that place
deep inside of me that He has created that is beyond my understanding
and beyond the understanding of any created being. It would be
somewhere in what modern psychology calls the “sub-conscious”.
The flesh is actually “unconscious” to this deep, deep place.
It
is usually in the silence that I can sense this place inside of me
and I believe God speaks to my spirit there. I'm not sure that I
know when He is speaking to this place in me. Sometimes I do sense
His presence and Him speaking to me at times but I don't think it's
in this deep place. This deep place, at least for me, is far more
sacred than I have dared to let Jesus take me.
I
believe that this deep place is what Jesus created as a special place
within us in the human spirit for Him to reside inside of us. It is
the “Holy of Holies” within our being which is the temple. By
human spirit I mean the spirit God set inside of us at our
conception, not the secular or fleshly human spirit apart from God.
The
next portion that resonates with me is “all your waves and breakers
have swept over me”. I think of the 2006 film “The Guardian”
in which Coast Guard swimmers are being trained for extreme rescue
operations. Many scenes of people in storm conditions show them
drowning. High waves are continually breaking over them in these
desperate scenes. Life can be much like that for many people for
periods of time. Sometimes for years. We live in an imperfect world
where we are subjected to our sinful nature and the sinful nature of
others. Satan wants at all costs to bury that deep place so deep we
never know it's there. He has succeeded in relegating it to the
un-conscious of many people and even creating a delusion that the
human spirit is the center of this deep place. I attest to many in
recovery always saying that healing is within “us” and is a part
of “us”...referring to themselves and a secularly acceptable
“god”....which basically is themselves.
As
Satan tries to drown us and bury the deep place within us he seems to
forget that a person who drowns sinks... into the deep. God works
all things for His good and testimonies abound of “drowning”
people finding Jesus...finding Him in that deep place from where He
is calling to them.
Satan
assaults us and God's deep place within us from before birth. We
know that the sins of the fathers come down to the children through
the generations as curses and demonic attachments. Exodus 34:7 Children are
aborted, and there are survivors of attempted abortion struggling but
they don't know why. Children are abused physically, emotionally and
spiritually. There are many subtle abuses that couldn't be called
criminal in any court that people engage in against each other. It
has been suggested by some that infants and young children see
angels...they live close to that deep place where Jesus is...they
aren't drowning in this world yet and they have not turned aside from
Him. All of it originated in Satan's plan to tear us away from God
and make that deep place foreign to us.
God
calls us to meet Him in that deep place whether we are in chaos or in
peace. He can call to those who are in the midst of war, to those
who are in pain and in poverty just as He can to those who live in
peace and health. It is in getting to know Him through His Words of
Life, learning the sound of His “voice” that speaks truth to us
that we move into that deep place with Him. John 10:3 - 5
Margarent Becker with "Deep Calling Deep"
been a while ...
ReplyDeletehope your doing ok xx
Wow, that deep place in me, I think is what has been stirred up in my soul letting me know it needs attending to. I've been getting the feeling that something huge that I'm not consciously aware of yet is about to be stirred up. Like a repressed memory kind of a thing. Maybe that sounds weird to you, but I've had these memories from my childhood that don't fit with anything else. I've had many (who don't know each other and I never mentioned anything they said to the others) after hearing me tell my story tell me that my behaviors fit more with having been sexually abused as a child rather than emotional and physical abuse. Some of those memories I associated with something else only to recently find out had nothing to do with that and again, these things would fit with sexual abuse in my childhood. It's making me a little nervous. I'm scared and at the same time realizing maybe I need to know, cause nothing fits for anyone to be able to help me understand much of my past. Only a few small things. Nothing that would explain why I'm the huge mess I am in the ways that I am. I know I probably just freaked you out and now your thinking I'm losing it. Maybe I am. I don't know.
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