Loving Ourselves

St. Valentine's Day has become a day to express love toward each other, especially romantic love. Families give cards, candy and gifts to each other. The retailers have encouraged us to give more and more expensive gifts like jewelry and electronics.

The original Valentine who the day was named after got into trouble with the Romans for marrying couples. The Romans had banned marriage at that time because they needed men for the military and married men were exempt. He was arrested and eventually martyred for his Christian beliefs. While he became a saint due to his faith and martyrdom and not for any reason related to romantic love, it's a connection that his perceived violation by the Romans was about love and marriage.

 

Many who are survivors of sexual, physical, emotional abuse and those who are suffering physical and mental illnesses feel unloved. Whether we experienced unloving words and actions from others or feel like suffering from illness, a hole in our spirit develops that needs filled. Sometimes we fully participate in making the hole bigger. The negative self-talk that allow to go through our minds, addictive behaviors, isolation from others and generally seeing ourselves as less than others contributes to hole digging. I don't think most of us realize what we are doing to ourselves when we engage in these things. It isn't enough that we have been wounded or hurt in our spirit, soul or body...we then go and make it worse! The enemy likes to pick on the weak. If our suffering can be considered a place for weakness to develop then the enemy is taking his shots. He makes available a “shovel” for us to start enlarging that hole. Satan is like one of those civil engineers who stands around looking at the hole in the ground that he planned to put there while we go driving by at 10 mph through the “destruction” zone.

What can we do to promote healing of the hole in our spirits? The first thing would be to reach out to a God that took onto himself all of our pain, suffering, abuse and illness on the cross. Yes, we can wonder why He didn't intervene in our personal suffering or the suffering of the world. The thing is He did, but not in the way we would have if we were in His position. He created us with a certain amount of resiliency. Some have more, some have less. However He left us needing a little more than what we have....or a lot more. That gap, the hole, needs to be filled by Him. That can happen in many different ways.


Spiritually we need His supernatural healing and filling of love. Following Him and His words are essential to fully receiving that. Spiritual growth can be promoted through bible study, listening to and singing worship music, prayer, receiving prayer, etc. This can not be done in isolation however! Other believers are necessary for spiritual growth.

We need people. Not just to be around people although sometimes that helps, but being around people that support us and care about us. We need to be touched in healthy ways. While many survivors of sexual abuse may be afraid of touch, it has healing benefits. Allow a hand on the shoulder or a quick squeeze of the hand. Sharing our burden; the fears, the hopes, the hurt, the anger. Don't let it become a volcano inside of you!


Other activities might include journaling, drawing, watching a favorite movie, going to a concert, going to the zoo, taking a bubble bath, lighting a fragrant candle, buying fresh flowers, watching children on the playground at a park, wrapping up in a blanket on a cold night, walking or exercising....the list can go on. What are things you do to love yourself? Leave a comment!

Deuteronomy 10:17-19
For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt.